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Gomen [27 Apr 2004|12:08pm]

[ mood | sigh ]

Sorry I haven't been keeping up this journal. I apologise sincerely.

Things with hide and I.. aren't going as smoothly as they should. All these years, and our relationship is still as rocky as ever.

Thank you for your support,

~ Yoshiki

1 message| letter box

[31 Mar 2004|09:25am]

[ mood | blank ]

I thought as I wandered dull and dreary, through my own home whilst my eyes were weary,
Somewhat lonely, somewhat bored, I pause for a moment to tug the cord,
Of an unused curtain in an unused room, where I thought I might rest til noon,
And as I tug this thick red cord, but who should come rapping upon my door,
A blast of sunlight might herald his arrival, but mine eyes were too dim for survival,
I flop into the chair and there I sat until once again, he began to tap
"I't's open, come in." I deigned to call, he seemed surprised, I heard him stall,
Slowly the door creaks open to reveal, a young man standing in pale congeal,
The boy he stood and stared, not making a sound, until I said "Hyde, that's my dressing gown."
The boy he blushes and smiling slightly, he steps inside, quietly, politely,
I made room for him to sit beside me, and there we doze til half past three,
I must admit to me he is rather dear, for me to let him sit so near,
And doze whilst sitting on my lap, something that has often brought a gap
'tween me and any other lover, the ability to sit and be with one another,
No tension, no fear, just holding him near,
I think "Is this love?"...
But then we dissapear...

I am a social hermit, and a workaholic.


10 messages| letter box

[11 Mar 2004|09:32pm]

[ mood | nostalgic ]

I have been an antisocial creature for about a month. I mused, slipping off my vantage point on my bed and stepping across to the window.

With a grave sigh, I addressed the morning in a with somewhat unenthusiastic grunt, somewhere between a Good Morning, and an I Want Everything To Die. The sky was pale, with few movements, only the faint flicker of a bird's wings overhead.

I must admit, I was getting bored with this pace of life. I had barely spoken to anybody, and had little wish to, but.. something was missing. Something big, that perhaps I didn't even want to admit to myself. Who was I kidding? I knew exactly what was missing, but I was just afraid of saying it aloud. I dressed slowly after a lazy shower, pausing only to ask my socks if, perchance, they had noticed my shoes scutter past in the last hour or so. I recieved a negative response from the items, and went downstairs to seek my rogue footwear.

As I reached the ground floor, I discovered it to be a flurry of excitement. Coolly, I pulled a member of my staff aside and begged to ascertain the meaning of this hubbub. I was informed that my dear canine was causing the commotion, by trying to tear the seat out of one of my butler's pants. Calling for her, I stepped into the circle, and sure enough, there was my darling Bel in full warpaint, deciding that my butler's behind was to be her breakfast. I called her once more, and she stopped on her footsteps. I called her once again and she trotted to my side - tail wagging - to be picked up. I scooped her up in my arms and began to retort her on her course of action, as my staff slowly got back to their morning duties.

I shared breakfast with my trusty companion, and when we were done, we went up to the lounge to read for a while.

A day off every once in a while isn't a bad thing, and is rarely without it's excitement.


8 messages| letter box

[10 Mar 2004|10:26am]

[ mood | curious ]

Sorry I haven't updated in like.. forever.

Thngs are pretty cool round here right now - there's not really a lot going on...

I just wish Tarou wouldn't avoid me so much......


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Ill [23 Feb 2004|04:19pm]

[ mood | worried ]

Some half-brained technician at the studios managed to delete all of hichan's work from the past two weeks, and now my darling has a sore-throat from over-working his voice, and even worse, a raging fever.

I called Kiyoshi this morning when hide first nodded off, and he say's he'll be able to sort everything out whilst he's gone, so we're not to worry. I've tucked hide up in bed with as many blankets and pillows as I can find, and gave him a good dose of medicine to help him along. He's sleeping now, and I'm sitting on the floor leaning against the bed, so that if he stirs, I can hear him.

He's been having terrible dreams, but whenever he wakes, he can't remember what they were about. So I just sit and hold his hand, and stroke his hair and hope with all my heart he gets better soon.

..I think I can hear him groaning.. I'm going to get him some more water, and a damp towel for his forehead.

~ Yoshiki

1 message| letter box

[22 Feb 2004|07:44pm]

[ mood | scared ]

...Collapse )

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[14 Feb 2004|08:38pm]

[ mood | exhausted ]

I will have to thank Hyde-san again, for his help and his offer. I have never received this much kindness. I hope I will be allowed to help too.

However, to be honest, the past few days are foggy in my mind. I can recall talking to Hyde-san on a quiet beach, but the trip there and back escapes me. Most of the previous day is a blur of noises. ...what were all those people doing in my apartment?

I woke up clutching Hyde-san's hand today. It's....
Thank you.

I have never felt this tired before, it feels like that one night of real sleep dragged out exhaustion to the surface. I will have to make sense of my thoughts when I am not submerged by fatigue and...

...my head is too loud.

4 messages| letter box

[14 Feb 2004|10:33pm]

[ mood | dejected ]

So, V*lentines D*y was entertaining.

Oh, and four hour candles? Generally Aren't.


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[14 Feb 2004|01:24am]

[ mood | content ]

This week has certainly been interesting.
At the behest of my dear friend and once bed-partner, I dropped in on Tarou this week.
He really seemed quite lost in himself.... I was very worried. I hope I've done some good.

I don't know how much of what happened I should post up, as I feel it's a private thing that Tarou should choose who he discloses it to.

I took him to the beach where Sakura and I used to go whenever I was feeling low, and he fell asleep on in my arms as we sang together. He felt... fragile. He felt like the most precious thing in the whole world. I sat and fought to keep the hair out of his eyes for hours, humming orenji no taiyou and some new music that came to me, born of the night, the waves and my arms around the delicate shell where a soul still lay hiding. I don't know if I'll make a recording of it yet, but you guys will be the first to know.

Perhaps I helped him.
But what he'll probably never understand is how much his acceptance of my touch meant. How not even Gackt has been able to part me from the most precious ring I gave him freely as a promise I'd return when he was afraid I'd leave him.

He's asleep in the chair next to me, and I'm still holding his right hand with my left. He's slept like a man might eat if given a banquet after release from captivity, but he stirs whenever I try to ease myself out. It's a little inconvenient, but I like it. I like being needed more than I can describe.

Now. The challenge - I need to use the bathroom. ...


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[08 Feb 2004|11:22pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

Once again I found myself beside the window in my room, this time watching the wind toy with the trees and plants in the garden. This sheer force, it began slowly, but now things are starting to move outside. A simple hanging basket just flew over the fence and bounced into the garden.

I wonder how far it flew.. I wonder who it belongs to... who it belonged to. Like driftwood now, what may once have been a colourful basket of flowers will only be tossed aside and left to rot... somehow it reminds me of love. Perhaps of myself.

Blooming so beautifully for your partner, dancing in the strain and breeze of life, until one day things all become too harsh, too stormy, and you are carried away by the winds of time, and broken by the fall.

Although, as far as I recall - I don't remember flying over any fences last time.

I went out for that much needed dinner and drink with Hyde. It was good fun, and I hope that we can do it again sometime. Although next time I shall ensure that my sister is out of the house by the time we arise the next morning.


It only takes a moment to develop a crush on somebody, only an hour to like somebody, only a day to love somebody... but it takes a lifetime to forget somebody.

Don't make me forget you.

9 messages| letter box

[28 Jan 2004|09:36pm]

[ mood | lonely ]

I sat, watching the weather conditions spiral down past my third floor window, a-watching with an expression almost mournful as the white stardust began to settle upon the floor, crystallising. I turned away from the window and softly snuffed out the candles collected around the room, before taking a seat up on the window itself, my feet on a cupboard and pressing my face against the glass.

I wish I had somebody to share this moment with...

With a wry smile, the thought occurs - tomorrow the roads may be frozen. Maybe i can just stay in alone in front of the fire. A day off would be a very welcome intangible commodity.

There is no feeling greater than that of dancing in the snow, while thunder and pale purple lightning crash all around you. Like a giant howling dog, as if witches were pouring their spells away down the mountains. I love to be surrounded by the elements, the greatest forces of nature.


9 messages| letter box

[27 Jan 2004|12:53pm]

[ mood | content ]

What an eventful time I've been having recently. Things with hichan have certainly be interesting, and that's a good thing, ne? It's nice that he still surprises me, even after knowing him so long.

And how is everyone else doing? I fear that work is going to be building up for me soon, so I might not be able to see people as often as I'd like. But I'll still try, of course *smile*

~ Yoshiki

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hmmm.... [24 Jan 2004|12:31am]

[ mood | still sore ]

this week was a surprise. can't say i expected it to turn out quite... the way it did... but who's complaining?

damn, i definitely need to discuss things with Yochan. don't think i'll be ready for a similar session for a while.

4 messages| letter box

[21 Jan 2004|09:22pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

Nobody called.
I'm going to go get drunk.

Yours if you want me,

9 messages| letter box

Gackt [21 Jan 2004|02:04pm]

[ mood | envious ]

Gackt's mansion is as huge as ever, and he has a really sexy room there.
Feeling better.
I'm going to go to the studio today, had a few ideas for songs and want to try them out. If anyone wants to meet up later for drinks in a seedy bar/stripjoint/park, just drop me a line.

Yours but not refined enough for late night drinks in mansions,

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[21 Jan 2004|10:45am]

[ mood | bored ]

Hmm, well, considering the incidents of the past few days, I'm surprisingly happy right now. Or, at least, not pissed off. Sex is very theraputic indeed.

I want to get drunk. Gackt?

7 messages| letter box

Meep ;__; [19 Jan 2004|10:00pm]

[ mood | crushed ]

Good Deed Count: -10,00000000 (He got caught. Didn't know.)
Good Sex Count: 1 (a nice lusty dream +100)
Guilt Factor: 1000
I'm going to go sulk in a park, am taking the mobile if anyone needs me for anything.

Yours if you can afford it,

11 messages| letter box

[19 Jan 2004|09:36pm]

[ mood | creative ]

It was about 10pm, and the sexiest man alive had just woken from his afternoon doze to begin his nightshift. After a slow prowl round the room, assuring myself everything was in order, I began to go about the business of making myself more beautiful than ever.

"All will love me and despair!" I proclaimed to the mirror, noting not that in all my infinite wisdom, I had chosen to quote a fictional elf. Wait a sec, did I just degrade my intelligence? ... ... ... Well, scratch that bit.

I strode gently into the bathroom, and took a quick shower. After absently dressing and putting on some makeup, I flung my chamber door open to the empty corridor.

All was quiet at Gackt Towers, just as it ought to be.

Now, where the hell is Hyde...?

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At hide's [19 Jan 2004|07:59pm]

[ mood | aggravated ]

*Is sitting on hide's bed, surrounded by the still-fresh signs of sex, looking notably pissed off as he glares down at his mobile. He taps away at the keys, texting his boyfriend with something along these lines:

"Hi there hide. Like to explain what's been going on?"

.. Before he changes his mind and sends him

"I'm going to
kill you hide"


1 message| letter box

[19 Jan 2004|03:07am]

[ mood | bouncy ]

Good Deed Count: 1
Good Sex count: 1

I think all in all, today was good.


Who is very, very sexy.

7 messages| letter box

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